


suddenly call out our name // i can hear our song in my ear

by HugsNotDrugs



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Almost Self Harm, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Bottom Choi Yeonjun, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Panic, High School, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Mindless Fluff, Porn With Plot, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Top Choi Soobin, Working adults, corporate world, funny you should ask, office workers, soobin is bi, why yes they do get married, yeah - Freeform, yeonjun is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28030116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HugsNotDrugs/pseuds/HugsNotDrugs
Summary: Yeonjun was the GOAT of his homeroom class. Greatest. Of. All. Time. Ask anyone, his peers, teachers, even his principal who gave him a commendation for his exceptional dance skills when heading the dance ensemble for the school’s event nights. They all had a good word to say about their interactions with the highschool junior. Anyone but Yeonjun himself, whose head miraculously stayed a reasonable size despite the admiring gazes shot surreptitiously at him. He stayed orderly and helpful during class, he was a co-captain for the swim team, and even his grades were of secure standing despite juggling his excellence. For all that, his teacher found him a studious, reliable boy. Furthermore, sensing the way he had everyone wrapped around his little finger (not that he had to make use of it), she decided that under Yeonjun’s wing was the safest place to be.So that’s where she put Soobin, the New Kid™. In the second month of the first semester, the counselor came to Mrs. Park with a stack of documents, trailed by a 180cm tree with legs. He introduced himself as Choi Soobin, aged 17.--------------Five times Yeonjun said maybe and the one time he says yes, yes, yes.(final length: 7k, COMPLETE)
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 37
Kudos: 156





	1. Coyish

**Author's Note:**

> trying out a 5 + 1 fic, having a set format makes writing so much easier. and more fun! the title are lyrics from "way home", the song I decided it the best (and i had no good ideas, even picking a lyric is hard)
> 
> all chapters posted!! please enjoy

Yeonjun was the GOAT of his homeroom class. Greatest. Of. All. Time. Ask anyone, his peers, teachers, even his principal who gave him a commendation for his exceptional dance skills when heading the dance ensemble for the school’s event nights. They all had a good word to say about their interactions with the highschool junior. Anyone but Yeonjun himself, whose head miraculously stayed a reasonable size despite the admiring gazes shot surreptitiously at him. He stayed orderly and helpful during class, he was a co-captain for the swim team, and even his grades were of secure standing despite juggling his excellence. For all that, his teacher found him a studious, reliable boy. Furthermore, sensing the way he had everyone wrapped around his little finger (not that he had to make use of it), she decided that under Yeonjun’s wing was the safest place to be.

So that’s where she put Soobin, the New Kid™. In the second month of the first semester, the counselor came to Mrs. Park with a stack of documents, trailed by a 180cm tree with legs. He introduced himself as Choi Soobin, aged 17. 

“Hello Soobin.” She smiled comfortingly at him, ready to help him adjust to change. They talked for a while in the afternoon over some tea, about Soobin’s circumstances, his interests and his disposition. He was a talented boy but a bit shy, but he had a good heart. The next day, she had him introduce himself to the class.

“Hello everyone, my name is Choi Soobin, I am from Ansan and I will be attending South Seongnam High School from today. Please take care of me.” He said, just a tad quiet. He straightened his back, waiting for the silent appraisals of his new classmates.

“That’s wonderful, Soobin. Would you mind taking a seat next to Choi Yeonjun please? It’s the empty desk in the left back corner. Yes. Yeonjun dear, please take care of Soobin as well.” Yeonjun stood up at his desk, flashing a winning smile at the taller boy.

Alone, next to the blackboard, Soobin had looked almost comically tall, which may have been an issue if it wasn’t for the fact that Yeonjun was equally tall, and when the two came closer to each other and shook hands courteously, neither looked strange at all.

“Please take care of me.” Soobin said once more to Yeonjun, bowing before sitting down in his seat, taking out his pencils and papers for class. He had actually been too nervous to look the other boy in the eye, but now that Mrs. Park transitioned smoothly from homeroom into math and had moved into a warm up discussion, Soobin’s attention strayed to the boy beside him. Yeonjun had this… intimidating air about him, not because he was unfriendly, but was it even possible to have this much confidence in oneself? He snuck a furtive glance at the boy’s profile, taking in the curve of his nose, his tiny eyelashes, strikingly thick lips.

“Soobin, would you like to answer this question?” Mrs. Park called. _Damn it._

“Uh- I think that uh-” Soobin stalled, panicked eyes shooting to Yeonjun’s notebook where he was taking notes. Except there weren’t any notes, just a doodle of a very rotund cat. _Damn it again._

“Mrs. Park, could you repeat the question? Soobin and I were a little caught up writing down the notes.” Yeonjun chimed in, his voice rich and confident as he gestured the end of his pen at his page of what Soobin discernibly knew had nothing to do with math.

Mrs. Park repeated the question again, now feeling a little sorry that her attempt to involve Soobin was evidently ill-timed. To their collective relief, Soobin’s eyes lit up with recognition and answered successfully. Mrs. Park made a note to not call on Soobin about math again.

“Thanks for saving me,” Soobin breathed at the end of class, bashful. Yeonjun winked at him.

_So cool._

“Um… now I have to go to…” Soobin squinted at his schedule, eyes running through the tiny lines of characters. Yeonjun peeked over his shoulder at it.

“Oh, digital art, huh. It’s right down the hall, then you take a left, and a right, and then another left- wait- ” Yeonjun tapped a finger on his chin, appearing to think hard. “Oh! Then spin in place three times and say the secret word, which is ‘Alakazam.’” He finished with a huge grin.

“Um- I-” Soobin hesitated.

“I’m just pulling your leg. I’ll come with you, it's not too far.” Yeonjun slapped Soobin heartily on the back, getting close to him and walking him to his class. Soobin could feel Yeonjun’s body heat through their uniforms. 

Yeonjun dropped Soobin off at his class, finally letting go of the other boy's arm.

"Ah wait wait," Yeonjun dipped a hand into Soobin's pocket and took out his phone, unlocking face ID before Soobin could even register what happened. Soobin panickedly rushed for his phone on instinct but Yeonjun twisted free, putting his contact information into the device with the tip of his tongue poking out playfully.

He slipped it back into Soobin's pocket- _is he the kind to wear only cheerful and cool expressions?_ \- before dashing off to his own class. Soobin watched the way Yeonjun's long legs carried him, powerful steps shooting the man down the hall in a flash.

He pulled out his phone.

_BingsuFairy: So hello I guess?_

_Daniel Choi Yeonjums: Hey cutie ;P_

_BingsuFairy: Does this mean we could possibly be friends, Yeonjun-ssi?_

_Daniel Choi Yeonjums: Maybe ?_


	2. Joking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i caved. once a day now !

When school let out for the summer, Soobin and Yeonjun habitually went to each other's houses to hang out. After all, the workload was light and their best friend was a walking distance away. What was a somewhat lengthy bike ride away was, however, the beach. And Yeonjun loved the beach. Now in the summer before his final year as swim captain, his muscles itched to slice through water and propel himself against gravity, chlorinated or not.

Who did hate the beach, however, was Soobin. He mentioned it offhandedly while watching Yeonjun operate a fantasy hero onto a new level in his mobile game, with waves cascading in the background. The two huddled together on Yeonjun's mattress to see the screen, the electric fan running in the back.

"How can you hate the beach?" Yeonjun gasped, head shooting up from the game, glaring at Soobin looking offended on behalf of all beach fanatics.

"No no, I don't hate it I guess, but I can't swim or anything, so it’s a bit scary. The beach itself is pretty I guess." Soobin admitted sheepishly.

"We _have_ to go." Yeonjun exclaimed rolled out of bed onto the floor, long limbs pushing himself up from the hardwood.

Ah, yes, of course. Soobin bit his tongue to keep the whininess out of his voice.

"C'mon c'mon, I'll teach you an easy stroke, it's not so hard." Yeonjun was sparkling with excitement, one hand tugging at Soobin's wrist.

"I grew out of my swimming shorts like five years ago." Soobin explained. Yeonjun already had his entire upper body submerged in his closet, wading through a mountain of designer clothes to pull out a drawer chock full of swimming shorts of every color, size, and style.

"You underestimate me Soobinie!" Yeonjun laughed, traumatizing Soobin by throwing a (clean) pair at his head, the other hand’s nimble fingers still rifling through for other styles.

“What’ll it be?” Yeonjun asked.

“These are okay I guess…” Soobin mumbled, plucking the pair off his face and examining it. It was black with two neon blue stripes running down the outer thighs, quite stylish.

“Don’t be shy! Take these too, go try them on in the bathroom and find one that fits. Just chuck the rest in the laundry bin when you’re done.” Yeonjun cheerfully led Soobin on, pushing him in and closing the door behind him before he could even protest.

Soobin, dumbfounded, sat down on the toilet seat, looking at the three pairs. Feeling strange about himself, he undressed and threaded his legs through the holes of the shorts, pulling them snugly up, trying to get used to the strange smooth fabric. His cheeks heated thinking about how Yeonjun, at one point or another, may have worn them and had his privates hugged by them. The original managed to fit the best after all. Having decided to simmer in the trauma, Soobin took the other pairs and silently placed them in the laundry bin like Yeonjun told him to before walking back into the room of the older boy.

Yeonjun had changed himself, now in his favorite pair of black and turquoise swim trunks and nearly bouncing off the walls. Soobin couldn’t hold back a chuckle seeing his energy. Though he didn’t like to try new things, he knew that he could have a good time as long as it was with Yeonjun. Plus, his friend would double as a lifeguard and he likely wouldn't perish in the great salty waves.

Throwing on their summer clothes over their swimwear and bringing basic things such as their wallets and keys, the pair biked to the beach, laughing and joking the whole way.

Once they arrived in the early afternoon, Yeonjun swiftly parked his bike, shed his garments haphazardly (his sandals all but grew wings and flew off), and dashed straight into the foamy water, letting out a loud whoop as he went. Soobin took off his clothes slowly and neatly, folding them into little squares and placing his sandals next to them. The beach was not very crowded as it was a weekday, though there were splotches of people enjoying the sand and good weather.

"C'mere," Yeonjun called, about five meters out in the shimmering green sea. The water had transformed his dark wavy hair, making strands of it stick to his neck and showing his forehead. The distance made Soobin nervous, but he mustered his courage and poked his leg into the water, slowly sidling in and feeling along the ground as he made his way into deeper water. At about chest height, the ground underneath felt strange and bumpy. Something foreign touched his foot and he let out a high yelp, freezing in place and eyes trembling for help as Yeonjun stroked towards him swiftly, gliding through the water to rescue him.

"What now Soobinie~" Yeonjun dipped his head down below the water to check what debris had sent Soobin into paralysis, finding nothing but a loose tendril of kelp.

"Gee, if we stopped for every piece of sea grass we might be here all day, and you should know I have no complaints there." Yeonjun teased, Soobin not missing the way his eyes glanced up and down the taller boy. The elder splashed Soobin playfully, getting his hitherto carefully maintained dry hair sopping wet. 

“Oh, you!” Soobin gasped, lunging towards Yeonjun, screaming when he missed and face planted into the water, Yeonjun clutching his sides in laughter, watching Soobin sputter like a doused puppy.

“C’mon puppy, let’s go somewhere a bit more shallow, can you float yet?”

“I’m not a puppy!” Soobin protested, following close behind the older boy anyway.

After some floundering, Soobin found control of his stringy self and could do a very desperate version of breaststroke. He envied Yeonjun, who glided perfectly through the water without effort, in his domain whether it was on land or in water. Yeonjun’s body control was really amazing, as if the elements bent to him rather than the other way around.

“Ah, what great progress you made today Soobinie. I’m proud of you.” Yeonjun said, though Soobin hadn’t accomplished much at all even with Yeonjun’s patient coaxing. Yeonjun gave Soobin a hearty pat on the back as they shook the water off themselves and walked back to their belongings.

The two padded excitedly towards a popsicle vending truck set up on the path to the beach, mouths watering at the icy treats. Though the sun had moved much lower in the sky and cast a warm glow over the beach, the weather was still warm, and the two gained a moment of solitude as they found a comfortable spot to sit together, lapping at the popsicles, Soobin blueberry and Yeonjun cherry, and enjoying the soreness in their muscles. Soobin looked off into the sunset, appreciating its beauty while nibbling small chunks from his popsicle with his front teeth before turning to smile at his friend with a joke to make, only to freeze at the sight of the other boy, slurping his treat obscenely with his plump lips wrapped around the circumference of the popsicle, red sugar water running down his chin carelessly. After what felt like an eternity, Yeonjun pulled off of the treat with a gentle breath, a string of spit still connected to his reddened, rosy lips.

“Are you an animal?” Soobin laughed nervously, unable to look at his best friend. It gave him a tight feeling in his chest.

“Maybe?” Yeonjun replied and chomped viciously into his popsicle, letting the red messily stain his mouth before baring his teeth and growling playfully at Soobin, reaching out clawed hands to tickle the taller man into submission, their laughter spanning across the empty beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always wanted a "beach episode" with my boyfriend but we cant do that now Can We ? lets cheer up even in the winter for us northern hemisphere folks...
> 
> thanks for reading! i appreciate it so much


	3. Fearful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// mention of self harm/suicidal ideation (no description, not executed, generally brief but??? be safe)

Now it is time to elaborate a bit more on Yeonjun’s GOAT status. He retained the title into his senior year, his good image only reinforced with time. After all, most of the class had been together all four years, and indifference was turned to like merely through exposure. Curiously, however, Yeonjun had never had a friend as close as Soobin. It was the lack of closeness with most of his class that added the extra sparkle, that flattened Yeonjun into a paragon but made him simultaneously pop. After all, he never cried in front of his classmates, never stumbled on stage, never made _real_ mistakes (only minor ones, to convey an acceptable level of humanness).

That was the price to pay to have the stage follow him, the natural born performer. He was looking for an outlet for all that exhaustion, perhaps, and latched onto the mostly harmless Soobin. Yeonjun only cried in Soobin's presence, and Soobin didn't mind, because he also received all of Yeonjun's biggest laughs, all the highs and lows that didn't fit into his carefully cropped public image. Soobin himself was by nature a malleable, putty-like thing with endless patience. He enveloped Yeonjun's sharp edges with care and held him closely through stifled sniffles.

Those were nights he wouldn't forget, nights when Yeonjun slowly peeled back his skin under the safety of Soobin's broad shadow as the taller man stood guard as his knight. Sometimes, it was downright disturbing.

Soobin got a call from Yeonjun at 10:31 P.M. on a Thursday night.

"Ya hyung?" He mumbled, voice a bit low as he was about to sleep.

"Soobin, please come over. Please, I think I'm going to hurt myself." Yeonjun said through the phone, the noise-filled reception damping out his quivery plea even further. Chills ran down Soobin's back at his friend's broken voice. He read about things like this in books, on the Internet sometimes. Terrible images flashed across his mind as he changed quickly into outside clothes and hopped on his bike, making the quick journey to Yeonjun's house, thin tires wobbling precariously over bumps and crevices faintly illuminated as he pumped the pedals at max speed.

He rapped on the door quickly, shouting in a hushed voice: "Yeonjun! I'm here!" The older boy cracked open the door slowly as if he was a part of the darkness, dressed only in his nightshirt and shorts, and Soobin sighed at his tear-streaked face, threading his arms under Yeonjun's armpits to hoist his smaller frame up into a big, tight hug.

"C'mon hyungie, let's go upstairs." He easily carried Yeonjun's lean body to his room, placing him gently on his bed and sitting down beside him, making a divet in the springy mattress. Yeonjun pointed a shaky finger at something that glinted on his desk, and Soobin gasped to see the razor blades, crudely broken out of their plastic shells with teeth marks and scraped nails. As a swimmer, Yeonjun had the need to shave his body hair every so often, and Soobin knew he kept good ones around for an extra close shave. Sighing in relief to see them still clean, Soobin hugged Yeonjun tighter, feeling him to be so so tiny in his arms. 

“Whatever happens Yeonjun, don’t ever do that, please don’t ever do that.” Soobin mumbled into Yeonjun’s hair.

“I was thinking if I did do such a thing, I could bleed out and let life slip away and I wouldn’t even care.” Yeonjun’s doe eyes peeked up at him, the tears in them reflecting back like stars. His legs were bare and white in the moonlight, and his toes curled together meekly.

A pause.

“But I am just... tired.”

“It’ll be ok.” Soobin whispered, rocking gently in place, one hand soothing Yeonjun’s back.

“Maybe.” Yeonjun replied, lashes fluttering with exhaustion.

The next morning at 4 am, when Soobin woke up in Yeonjun’s bed and snuck back into his own home in time for his mother’s breakfast, his clothes smelled just like his best friend. He wondered if it would haunt him the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop


	4. Bitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can tell how the chapters will go based on the title btw, in case you're not down for soiling your mood  
> also thanks sm for the support!! please stick through til the end it'll be worth it ~

And then it was the fourth year and the summer breeze came to visit, and before Soobin knew it he was dressed in scratchy, stuffy graduation robes, diploma handed to him for his two years of schooling at South Seongnam High School and he shook the principal’s warm, dry hand, and then he was lost in a crowd, at least tall enough to look for the other man amidst the throng of students. It was Yeonjun who found him first though, and he had a peculiar look in his eye.

“Choi Soobin, congratulations on becoming a part of real society.” Yeonjun said gruffly, almost comically stoic.

“Choi Yeonjun-sii, congratulations on becoming a part of real society.” Soobin made fun back, straightening his back and puffing out his chest to make it seem quite grand. The two laughed and the mood softened, but Yeonjun still looked like something was worrying at him. He took a deep breath, eyes wandering about and looking at everything but Soobin.

“I have to tell you something. Come with me.” Yeonjun tugged gently at Soobin’s sleeve and led him to a familiar secluded area behind the school building where they often liked to hang out if they didn’t want to go home too soon.

The ground beneath them was vibrant green grass, the twisting willow offering shade from a bright summer sun. The air was crisp, all in a perfect day for the outdoors graduation, setting the scene for… whatever was to follow, on this last day in their teenage lives.

“I like you, Choi Soobin.” Yeonjun blurted. His eyes were glued to the floor, his hands clasped tightly together. Soobin could see his knuckles turning white.

“I have liked you for nearly two years. In _that_ way, that a normal man might find it… repulsive to be on the receiving end of. And I wanted to tell you because you are the most precious person I have ever met.” Yeonjun’s voice was dipping lower and lower with every sentence, taken over by a cold tremble.

"I don't… I don't think I have feelings for you in um, that way, as it stands." Soobin said haltingly. Yeonjun's plush lip was already wobbling, turning away from Soobin to cast his face in shadow. And then his stance grew cold and composed, as if he made up his mind then.

"That's okay." Yeonjun said with a flat smile.

"We can still be friends." Soobin half-pleaded futilely, reaching out a hand. “I still treasure you.” Yeonjun did not accept it, just smiling that sad smile of his.

"Yeah, maybe."

Within the next month, Yeonjun quietly slipped away from Seongnam without fanfare, and it was their parents who kept in contact, that left a courtesy message to Yeonjun's mother that they were supporting their son's overseas internship in America and had thus moved. Soobin enrolled in a bachelor's program in psychology at the university his CSAT qualified him for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double oop


	5. Teasing//Reluctant

Soobin was a wanted man in college. He didn't expect this really, but given that he had put some work into his body from working a summer job (enough to be respectable, not enough to be a model) and college kids were really horny and lonely, perhaps it wasn't such an anomaly.

Anyhow, as a result he had many chances to date women and men, and inevitably bedded quite a few along the way. For women, he liked them fine, liked big breasts to grab and squeeze and soft stomachs, and liked the smell of the peachy perfumes they always use. For men, he liked the kind that looked and felt like Yeonjun.

Of course he started dating his own gender quite hesitantly, knowing full well that men on men was not the “default” and Soobin, conservative and meek, was often the target and not the arrow. He took to them far too eagerly. Thin frame, mile-long legs, with dangerous eyes and a mischievous smile, red tongue peeking through. Muscled haunches that bunch up with power, riding him good and hard. Through them, flirtatious and wily imitations, the loneliness that threatened to take root in Soobin’s heart was staved away.

He didn't like the feeling it left in him to date these boys, so he weaned himself off after the first few when his stomach dropped after realizing exactly why he loved their familiarity. After all, giving out his heart becomes hard when it inevitably suffers each journey back into his arms, a bit bruised but determined to stand. He really tried to make them work out, but they never did. So he left university at 22 with no strings attached, and that was fine.

Planning out his corporate life in Seoul, Soobin landed a job as a data analyst, his minor in education put on the back burner for now as he simply tried to make ends meet in the bustling city. He wondered how many people took different paths and put in effort only to end up just like him, in a suit and tie taking the elevator to the ninth floor of the bureau. He had to get out of this bleakness and quick, before they sapped the life away from him.

Well, he knew who didn’t end up like him.

“Mate you better watch out, we’ve got a new department head,” his colleague, Choi Beomgyu, whispered to him when Soobin arrived at his cubicle and slumped down in his chair, eyes still bleary from an early rise. Beomgyu slurped his espresso, offering a second cup to Soobin. Soobin took it with a grateful nod.

“New guy?” Soobin muttered back. He was not looking forward to it. In corporate life, people convinced themselves that all change was good, and that even if there was nothing to be changed for the better, then at least an illusion of it was imperative. Well, Soobin stayed awake well enough in Psych 101 to know that it was a load of bull. Still, he did his work just a bit more neatly that day, expecting a formal introduction soon.

“Yeah, from overseas. Back in Korea with some fancy techniques and ~visions~” Beomgyu chortled.

Soobin waited expectantly at that, until the staff’s lunch break approached and a tall, well-dressed man walked in at its start, signalling for everyone’s attention.

“Hello everyone, as many of you may already know, the commercial analysis department has instated a new head, and that is me. While in America, I worked by the name of Daniel Choi, but since we are all home, you can call me Yeonjun. I hope we can work together well, please take care of me.” He bowed, and Soobin saw that Yeonjun’s shoulders were broader than before, his height taller, his face filled out and sharpened, to some degree grown up and unfamiliar. Yet when he smiled his rascally smile, Soobin felt all the memories rush back, and he wondered if Yeonjun felt anything at all when he looked back at him, easily maintaining eye contact with a thin smile sitting on his handsome face.

And Soobin himself, was he really anything to look at these days?

\---------------

Soobin finished typing the last line on his daily report with a weary sigh, looking across the tiled floor to the large windows on the side, sunrays beginning to lengthen and fade out as the quiet rustling of his colleagues putting on their coats and the soft tapping of their heels, the elevators humming and making their rounds, became the last sounds of life from the office. He felt more than heard his former friend’s presence behind him, and quickly glued his eyes back to the glow of his screen, clicking and dragging at nothing to seem occupied.

“I’ve caught you looking at my ass all day,” Yeonjun whispered into the shell of his ear when the scene cleared, Soobin’s hands having long stopped typing. Just waiting. The minute hairs on his neck raised.

“Am I really that attractive?” Yeonjun continued with a tilt of his head, his voice gentle and teasing, one hand coming up to gently tilt Soobin’s chin to face Yeonjun. The taller man closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing.

Yeonjun couldn’t hold back a giggle. “Soobinie, you’re still so cute after all these years.” He let go of the younger man.

“Still so cute.” Yeonjun repeated, playful expression falling. “If you are free tonight, would you like to maybe grab dinner with me?” Yeonjun gestured with his hand, the other thumbing at the suspenders of his suit pants. Some of the old nervousness came back into his stance, as though he only had just enough confidence to putter along to his next attempt to speak. It was kind of endearing, but Soobin felt some of the old guilt nagging at him.

“Sure, yeah.” Soobin surprisingly replied, in a dreamlike state.

“Great, my treat.” Yeonjun said breathlessly, hurrying to put on his jacket and pack his things, giving the elevator its final trip of the day as the office lights were turned off, two pairs of excited footsteps resonating throughout the floorspace.

Yeonjun led Soobin to the office’s parking lot, where a quite lavish car was still there. Soobin was amazed to be able to sit in shotgun, still marveling at its freshness and luxury. Most office workers would settle for public transport, but of course, Yeonjun was not the typical office worker. It sent a twang of envy through Soobin, but he never doubted Yeonjun would go much further than others. Soobin sat quietly, feeling quite old and worn out, so he looked at the city lights instead and wordlessly simmered in the realization that he was in Yeonjun’s car, breathing in the same air as him, sitting just the few centimeters apart after so long. Hell, they never even said a proper goodbye, just the bitterness and fear lingering in the air.

“Do you have a preference for what to eat, Soobin? It’s been a few years since I’ve been in the area.” Yeonjun asked, eyes still on the road, his voice deep and rich.

“Anywhere is fine.” Soobin replied as a copout. There were too many factors to take into account. If he picked something too upscale, Yeonjun would insist on paying the whole bill. If he picked something too casual it likely would not fit Yeonjun’s tastes. Plus, eating out was more costly and Soobin usually just made a sad serving of ramen for himself in his small apartment. All in all? Clueless. 

“Alright, I’ll choose.” Yeonjun smirked and Soobin could see it in the corner of his eye, not unfriendly.

They ended up at a decent-looking restaurant called Four Seasons. With no reservation there were limited options, but even the quieter places could hold hidden treasures. They stepped inside.

The restaurant was dimly lit and not too crowded, soft music playing. Soobin kept his portions small and got a simple chicken and vegetable curry dish, keeping a mental tally on his personal expenses even though it was impolite to do so on a friendly outing. He took the opportunity, sitting face-to-face with Yeonjun finally, to examine the other man’s features, marveling at how he has changed and not at the same time. Yeonjun looked like he had been a world away (America is basically that far) and back. 

Yeonjun suddenly looked at him, smiling when Soobin looked away, ducking his head into his chest. Soobin was especially skittish when the booth, being just a bit small for the two lanky men sitting across from each other, made it so their knees occasionally brushed together, the little bit of contact so playful on the surface.

“You know, Soobin.” Yeonjun chuckled. “I really did like you back then.”

Soobin nodded, rinsing down his chicken with a glass of orange juice.

“And back then, you said no.” A tinier nod.

“Has that, perhaps, changed?” Soobin choked on his drink even though he was fully expecting it. It was really too embarrassing to admit it directly.

“Maybe.” Soobin said, keeping his tone purposefully light. It was Yeonjun’s favorite line. “I guess you would have to convince me one way or the other.” He finished, pursing his lips together.

Yeonjun’s pupils blew wide with arousal at the implication, but he managed to whimper in a strained voice: "You're so unfair." And it sounded like he was almost going to cry. “My heart beat so fast whenever I was around you I thought for sure you could hear, and now you want me to make you like me when you so flippantly broke my heart. I didn’t even know you liked men, when the hell did that happen!” He put a fist on the table in despair.

Soobin was taken aback, feeling very guilty. “I... I thought about you every day since you went to America.”

"You did?" Yeonjun raised his eyebrows.

"I couldn't get you out of my head." Soobin continued now that his floodgate had been opened. "The others… not one of them could make me feel how you made me feel." He confessed, his voice thick.

"Oh, so you did it with other men." Yeonjun said, his tone flat (and petty).

"You left without a word, I wasn't exactly planning my life around seeing you again." Soobin scoffed, then reined himself back in, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck, embarrassed.

Yeonjun narrowed his eyes. "Care for dessert?"

Soobin shook his head no.

"Then I'll just get some for myself." A waitress brought a tall ice cream and two silver spoons to their table. Something in her sensed the tumultuous atmosphere and she departed quickly. Perhaps two spoons was too presumptuous.

Yeonjun delicately scooped some of the creamy vanilla off the top, then offered it to Soobin, whose head instinctively went forward to accept it. 

"Sike." Yeonjun quickly drew back the spoon and stuffed it into his own mouth, savoring and swallowing the ice cream with an exaggerated "Ahh~" Soobin could smell the fruits and vanilla across the table. Yeonjun continued to eat, offering occasional spoonfuls to Soobin, who warily approached them and Yeonjun slid them into his lips like a petulant guinea pig, marveling at the rosy bud of his mouth filled with cream and looking so, so delectable.

They sat in silence for a moment when they were done, with that strange mood still hovering. Soobin fidgeted some and their legs brushed again, and if it was intentional it would have looked like children playing and teasing each other playing footsie. Yeonjun stood up abruptly.

“Alright enough of that, wanna come to my place?”

\--------------

Yeonjun rented a nice apartment that’s for sure, but the fine details of it went unnoticed by the two men that were fervently sucking each other’s faces, Yeonjun trying to feel one hand along his door to find the lock, Soobin’s muscular arm wrapped tight around his delicate waist as he let his lips roam across an expanse of soft, pale skin, both their self control long gone since Soobin had squeezed Yeonjun’s hip on their way up the stairs.

“Quit it,” Yeonjun giggled, turning his head to escape the flurry of kisses Soobin landed on his nose. He finally fit the key in the door and the two burst into the parlor, stripping off their shoes and coats with abandon. They left a trail of clothes as Yeonjun led Soobin to his bedroom, then forcibly sat him down on the edge of his bed, his expression serious. Still half-dressed, Soobin didn't know why they stopped.

"Are you planning to bottom because I um… have practice cleaning myself out." Yeonjun mumbled, cheeks pinking.

Soobin's head was half static, still trying to touch Yeonjun anywhere but was restrained.

"Whatever you are most comfortable with is fine by me." He replied earnestly.

"Okay, I'll just take a quick shower, then." Yeonjun disappeared into the connected bathroom, leaving Soobin alone with his thoughts.

_Alright. This is really happening._

Soobin ran through the facts in an attempt to ground himself. Daniel Choi Yeonjun. Best friend for two years, sexual fantasy and emotional crutch for four more. In his apartment (posh everything, modernism in full swing). Currently in the shower cleaning out his asshole for Soobin, maybe fingering himself until he was soft and loose and deli-

Yeonjun came out of the shower all pink and pretty, a fluffy cotton towel wrapped around his waist. He let it unwrap slowly as he put one knee on the bed, leaning over the taller man as he helped him take off his belt, undershirt, and pants. The towel fell away as if on purpose and Soobin's mouth went dry at the sight. He wanted to lick it and suck it but was interrupted by Yeonjun, who evidently couldn't hold himself back from the same, his tall, precise nose rubbing gently along Soobin's length in his briefs. He let out a soft sigh, the warm breath tickling Soobin's cock. The aching length twitched under the fabric and Yeonjun pulled it out with deft fingers, licking his lips and making them shiny and delectable.

At first, Yeonjun only teased the head, putting his rosy lips on the tip of the pulsating length and kissing it gently as elementary schoolgirls kissed their crushes, feeling the sensitive head pulse with arousal. Precum began dripping from the tip and he lapped it up like nectar with a ruby red tongue, the sensation making Soobin thrust his hips up with a whine, impatient for more.

Yeonjun looked up at Soobin with foxy eyes, swallowing halfway and coming back up, giving a few gentle bobs before withdrawing from his weeping cockhead, slicked with spit. He raised himself up on the bed, whining softly, adjusting until the younger man’s throbbing flesh was between his asscheeks. It was really soft there. Soobin reached his hands around Yeonjun to pull him closer, kneading his ass as he tried to find the opening.

“Ah- be gentle please,” Yeonjun gasped, hands steadying himself on Soobin’s broad shoulders.

“Did you save yourself for me baby?” Soobin murmured.

“Ugh- m-maybe?” Yeonjun looked away, pouting and embarrassed. Soobin found it so cute.

“Bet you couldn’t get it up cause it wasn’t me. Bet all the pretty white boys couldn’t lay a finger on you even though you’re so hot.” He growled, spouting hot nonsense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dumduhrumdum* *excited drumming noises* for your pain <3


	6. Hopeful

“Yes, yes, yes.” Yeonjun finally caved, sobbing at how good Soobin felt, just mouthing along his chest and thrusting steadily into Yeonjun. "Always imagined it was you when I f-fucked myself with- with toys, wondering how big and mature you must've grown. How you'd feel filling me up. Four _years_ I spent torturing myself. I missed you so much I missed youImissedyou-" Yeonjun cried out at a particularly hard thrust.

Soobin’s eyes blew wide at the image, imagining Yeonjun fucking himself on a dildo an ocean away, slowly easing it in, trying to keep his muscles from quivering at the foreign sensation, _still_ thinking of only Soobin.

“I missed you too baby.” Soobin mumbled into his neck, feeling guilty. They switched positions, Soobin flipping Yeonjun over onto his stomach, squeezing the globes of flesh before reentering, pounding his hips into the mattress pressed a line of butterfly kisses on Yeonjun’s spine.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you, missed you for years.” He confessed. Yeonjun sobbed into his pillow, turning his head to look back at Soobin with teary eyes and looking positively angelic. He bit his plump lower lip, pushing Soobin over the edge as he came inside with a groan, pumping strings of milky cum into his former best friend.

Both glowing from the high, Yeonjun pulled Soobin into his arms, their sweat mingling as they kissed leisurely, their tongues mapping out eachother’s mouths. 

“Still wanna suck your cock,” Soobin grinned into Yeonjun’s mouth. 

“Be my guest.” Yeonjun smirked back. So Soobin sank lower, eager to please and wrapping his entire mouth around Yeonjun in one go, working his throat to milk his length, making the older man writhe and his legs clamp down on Soobin, hiding his face cutely with his hands. There was an apology in there somewhere when Soobin swallowed down his cum, tasting the salty liquid on his tongue and lapping his reddened cock clean. He pulled himself up the bed beside Yeonjun and laid down with him, wrapping his arms around the man’s abdomen from behind, nosing at his nape.

“I know I’m not… I haven’t made anything of myself.” Soobin muttered quietly, carding his fingers through Yeonjun’s hair as he held him sleepily in his arms, a familiar position.

“Don’t say that.” Yeonjun said gently.

“You could have anyone. But I only have you.”

“What I mean to say is…” Soobin took a deep breath.

“I love you. Think I always have, since that first day. ...You glow so bright in my eyes.” He mouthed along the shell of Yeonjun’s ear, kissing and nipping at the sensitive flesh. Feeling everything and treasuring it. He was meandering.

“Can we try to make it work?” He asked in a tiny voice. Scared.

Yeonjun put a hand over Soobin’s.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awa... smut broken into two chapters....... sorry ;p


	7. Jubilant

“I did it! I got the job!” Soobin yelled as soon as he stepped inside the apartment he shared with his lover on a Saturday afternoon in January.

Yeonjun looked up from his phone at the kitchen counter, beaming. “The teaching position?” He walked over to his boyfriend, beaming.

“Yes! I get to start next Monday and I get to plan the way I teach the curriculum and everything.” Soobin put his hands to his chilled cheeks, excited. "And the starting pay is good, and the school looks great and they're going to email me my roster of kids and-"

Yeonjun stood up on his toes to kiss Soobin on the nose. “Congrats! I’m so happy for you dear.”

"Thanks sweetheart," Soobin smiled into his hair, lifting Yeonjun off the ground with a big hug, both men giggling like children.

Soobin excused himself into their shared bedroom, locked the door quietly and excitedly called Beomgyu, fingers tapping rapidly to pull up his contact. Of his former colleagues, Soobin knew that Beomgyu would always be happy for his success. 

"Beom I got the job! I think I'm gonna ask Yeonjun the question soon, now that I've got my own career going. I'm so happy man, I think it's time."

"Yo congrats!" Beomgyu’s deep raspy voice carried over the phone. “No better time to do it than now, I’d say. You got the ring yeah?”

“Yeah just in time.” Though Soobin hadn’t planned to propose before he knew he got the job, he had saved up his funds for a modest but beautiful engagement ring, and they dropped it off in the mail just last week. Soobin had to keep hush about it of course, but luck swung his way and he was now ready to begin the next chapter of their lives. He had confidence in himself as a working member of society, he had confidence in his relationship, which endured despite their hardships. Most of all, Soobin loved Yeonjun and knew he would be haunted by him if he was ever such a fool to let him go.

The next week, Soobin took Yeonjun on a lavish date with his first paycheck outside of corporate life. They then took a trolley to the beach, not unlike the one in their youth. The wind was brisk and the weather wasn’t suitable for swimming, which was perfect for Soobin’s needs, most beachgoers not lingering for long in the chilly wind.

When the coast was clear and the final sunrays of the day made the waves sparkle like gems, Soobin got down on one knee in the sand in front of the love of his life.

I’m sure you can figure out what Yeonjun said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's that <3

**Author's Note:**

> so I took a second break because the main fic is getting very deep and dank and I wanted to write something wholesome but it ended up being mostly angsty anyway huh? well, I hope you still liked it.
> 
> Any comments or feedback are greatly appreciated <3 Please be well and stay safe!


End file.
